The end of eternity leave

I have been, for the better part of this past decade, on "eternity leave" from my job, (the one I used to be paid to do) as a teacher. I don't think I ever intended to stay at home with my kids for such a long time, but as babies came, and time went on, and as my job allowed, it just felt like the right thing to do. This was a choice and a privilege too - we were able to survive on one salary alone, for a while.

 As I became more firmly entrenched in my time at home, probably after my oldest daughter was born, I initially struggled with the question: "so what do you do?".  Hmmm.  Do I say "stay at home mom"? Do I say "well, I'm a teacher, really, but I"m just on leave, a really long leave." Why did I have such a hard time initially with this admission that I was a SAHM? I'm a feminist, I love my job, and I love my kids, and I didnt' know how they would all fit together.  I realize that often we are valued for the thing we do for pay, the "prize" of many years of education. But being a mom at home is equally hard, relentless, challenging, motivating, tiring, and rewarding. It has been a gift to be home with my children. And part of me mourns the end of my time at home.

But I feel energized too, by the looking forward: I will only be teaching in the mornings, at a school close by, teaching the subject that I love. I'll be home in time to pick up my littlest from morning preschool, get a little supper prep done, and then be there when the older kids come home from school. I don't romanticize it, this fall will require us reworking the way we function around here (lunches! homework done! bags packed! extra curriculars! making supper! dad coming home later because he's now the morning man while mama slips out early with her work satchel that has been in the closet for the last 8 years...)

 Change is hard, but rewarding too. This week I've farmed out my kids so I can start thinking about school. And today, while reacquainting myself with my school's photocopier, I felt stirrings of excitement. And that's a good thing.